Thinking about....loneliness, relationships and the purpose of church

I had a conversation last week with someone who is a relative newcomer at our church (she has started coming along in the last twelve months). It got me thinking about how people can feel left out in a church community.

So I did a bit of googling on the topic and I was reading this earlier today on another blog. Interesting:

We need to think of churches as moral rather than social communities. When I go to church I need to have ethics on the brain and not intimacy. This, I think, is a huge problem with many churches. People go to church to have their relational needs met. They don't go to get morally challenged or changed. Thus, if I have a good social time at church then church is great and fulfilling. Conversely, if church is a lonely affair I stop going and think it sucks.

The goal of church, to my mind, is to be better, not to be known. Of course, in the effort to become better I become known. I'll need to confess and ask forgiveness. I'll need to give an honest moral accounting of myself. And so on. These things promote community and camaraderie and even friendship.

Again, don't get me wrong. Relationships are important. Feeling known and connected is important. But if these things become the focal point then church is just a club and people will start evaluating it like a club. Worse, once you get "inside" the club there is little incentive to let new people into your church, clique or circle of friends. Once you find your "group" you relax. You are no longer lonely! You've finished the race. Won the price. And fought the good fight. Well done good and faithful servant!

And best of luck to those people left on the outside.

Not sure I'm entirely in agreement with what this guy has to say. But it did make me think. As someone who has felt "on the outer" at times in our current church, there was something about this that rang true to me. We need to be careful that we don't get so caught up in our own circle of friends that we see new people as possible disruptions to the existing comfortable rapport we share. This leads to disunity. And people who come along a few times to our church, and then quietly disappear.

Hot hot hot

Can't move. Can't think. I feel grumpy. Don't know why I'm bothering to post...can tell you now this one isn't worth reading.

Just dragged Rosie and Rowan up to the ukulele shop to sort out the loose tuning peg. The guy has to order me a new one. Forty minute round trip in the car to find that out.

Now Rowan is unsettled. My own fault because I didn't wrap him when we got home. I thought it was too hot. He'll need a feed now.

Hoping I'll be able to have a swim in the pool when everyone is calm again. That should improve my mood...

Book Chat Term 1 2012

Hoping to track this one down to read for Term 1 Book Chat. I borrowed a copy from a friend and have also discovered it's available as an ebook so I will probably buy it in that format. Now I just need to find some paper copies for those who prefer real books.

I'm about halfway through it at the moment. It looks like it will be a great book to read in the lead-up to Easter. Anyone else read it?

Now THAT's a school excursion....(Angela Brazil school story marathon continues)

I'm currently halfway through reading The Jolliest School of All on my new e-reader. One of the things I like about Angela's school stories is that almost all of her books are stand-alone stories ie. not part of a series, like those of many other well-known school story authors.

This one is set in a school in Naples, Italy. It's a school for daughters of expats.

So far the girls have been on excursions to Pompeii and Mt Vesuvius. There are whole chapters devoted to each day trip amidst all the usual school story topics. Fantastic stuff.

If you have an e-reader, you can download a copy for yourself free here.

This is a very interesting article

What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland's School Success - The Atlantic

I think that the word "Australians" could easily be substituted for "Americans" here.

Thanks to my brother-in-law for sharing it on Facebook.

These guys are coming to Brisbane!

In February. Dreaming about having the money to go....

Toilet training

Taking advantage of a few days stuck at home without the silver bus (which is currently having a paint job to repair the scratches I put in it) to get some toilet training going for Rosie. We have been half-heartedly getting her to sit on the toilet for a while now but haven't been too serious about it with the new baby and general busy-ness at the end of the year.

Yesterday was great. There were five wees in the toilet, with relatively little prompting needed. No accidents. Lots of excitement, praise and lolly rewards.

Today....nothing. Sitting on toilet for two seconds then getting off. Or just screaming "noooo" at top volume whenever the toilet is suggested. But at least there have been no accidents (and she has been running around with no pants on all morning). I'm taking that as a good thing. At least she has the control to hold on.

So the nappy is now on while she has her sleep and I am confident it will be pretty soggy when she gets up.

In the reading I have done about toilet training, it says that the keys to success are parental patience and a positive attitude. Not things I am always blessed with, sadly. But hopefully easier to find when we are on holidays and not so busy.