Hospital reading...

Because obviously I'll have heaps of time to read books when I'm there....or not....

The first one arrived yesterday. Great timing. It's the latest edition of the Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale. I did the training to do this assessment a few years ago. It looks at a newborn's ability to self-regulate and interact with adults, among other things. I'll only be looking at this one if I'm in any kind of frame of mind to give it a go with the baby in the first few days. Depends on how I'm feeling. And how the baby's going.

The second one (Baby on Board 2nd edition) I found at the library. It looks like a fairly common sense type of book. A good two page summary at the beginning about what you need to know (or be reminded of) in the first few days. And heaps smaller than Robin Barker's Baby Love and the massive La Leche League breastfeeding book that I also found in the library.

The third one (Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother) I have read before. I'm reading it again because it was interesting. And because I've already read it once it shouldn't be too taxing second time around.

The last one is one I'm checking out as a possibility for a Book Chat book for next year in the lead-up to Easter. I'm a couple of chapters in. It's not too bad. It 's integrating information from all four Gospel accounts of the lead-up to Jesus' death, which is interesting. A bit heavy going though. And old (published 2004). I'm not sure it will be easy to get hold of if a few people want to read it. Anyone else read it?

And the baby name book that we bought way back in 2001, so I can't find an image of that one anymore. Chris and I are going to try and sort out the final choices tonight...we are perhaps slightly closer to choosing something but I don't think we're there yet.

And, of course, my Bible.

Taking all these books with me, of course, is all about clinging to familiar and loved things. Change always freaks me out and this time around I've had more time to worry about it than I've had with all of my previous babies. I know it will all be okay eventually, but right now it is a bit scary.

I won't be able to blog in hospital because I don't own a smartphone or any other portable computer technology. So I will chat to you all in a week or so if everything goes well. Take care.

We have a winner....

...of "Karen's longest gestation" award. I am at 38 + 2 weeks today.

And the baby still doesn't feel like it's coming. I think he/she must be quite happy in there. But it is coming on Wednesday, whether it wants to or not.

I'm starting to feel less comfortable, but still not too bad really. I'm ready for something to happen though.

Okay baby....

You can come now. Tomorrow morning would actually be quite a good time to arrive. Kids at school. Rosie is at child care. We wouldn't need to ring anyone except someone to pick up the boys from school.

The bag is nearly packed. Pest control man has just arrived to spray the house and get rid of all the spiders and bugs. Appointment to fit the car seat has been booked for Monday.

Today I am just feeling like I have had enough.

The time is drawing near....

For the past few weeks I think I've been living in some twilight zone having a great time doing a bit of tidying up (only when I feel like it), reading nice books, looking at lovely recipes, blogging, looking for poems for the boys to say in the school poetry competition this term, setting myself up some boards on Pinterest, eating well and feeling pretty okay about life.

Only a couple of challenges really. Yesterday's job interview was one of them. And Rosie has decided to show a bit of interest in using the toilet in the last week or two, and past experience toilet training my children has not been a quick and easy process. I've been trying to go with the flow (pardon the pun...there have been a few flows onto the floor but not yet into the toilet) and not expecting too much given the approaching upheaval that she doesn't realise is coming.

So I'd almost forgotten in the middle of all this enjoyment that we are about to have a baby. Today's clinic appointment was a bit of a shock. After the past few weeks of "fine, see you in a fortnight/see you next week," today there were no more appointments to be made.

Next Tuesday I am being admitted to hospital in the afternoon. The next day I will be having the baby. And today, my blood pressure was up a bit. Something in the urine sample that shouldn't be there. Might have to go onto antibiotics later in the week if it grows something. Had to go and have a blood test. Was given the talk about pre-eclampsia symptoms to watch out for. Blood glucose levels have been okay for the past week but today they have been a bit up and down even though my eating hasn't changed much.

I'm now getting a little bit nervous that I might not make it to next Tuesday. I haven't packed a bag for hospital yet....I thought if I did, it might be tempting the baby to come early again. But I am charging up the camera battery. And tomorrow morning (school teachers are having a stop work meeting so the boys don't have to go to school till after recess) I might just pop a few things into a bag.

Just in case.

No baby here...

...yet. 37 weeks today. Still feeling pretty okay. No swollen ankles, not feeling too bloated or anything. A bit tired but that's about all. I've only been this many weeks pregnant once before but I don't think I was feeling this good that time. Just goes to show what eating a healthy diet can do for you, really.

So now it's official: this one will be a full term baby. This is good. Hope that means it will get its act together with breastfeeding a bit quicker than Rosie did.

Still feeling a bit sad for our friends, who had another scan for their baby boy this week. Nothing much had changed, so they had to go through the pain of hearing the same news again. I don't think it would be any easier hearing it a second time. They are now having a week of holidays. I am praying that they will still be able to find some restful and enjoyable times.

Boys names

We can't find one we agree on. I only have two that I like, neither of which Chris likes. Baby name books are not assisting in making the decision any easier. In my opinion, baby name books have a lot of non-names in them that the average person would never use.

We have a few more girls names, so I'm starting to think it might be easier if this baby is a girl. If it's a boy, it might be nameless for a while. I had another scan to check the baby's growth this morning. The sonographer asked me if I knew what sex the baby was. It was very hard not to say, "could you PLEASE just tell me so we can take the name books back to the library!"

Instead I told her that I thought my husband would be upset with me if I found out without him being there. She said I should just wait for the surprise.

Looks like it's back to the name books (with accompanying television coverage of the Queen's visit to Brisbane) to see if there are any other names I might be prepared to consider.

On the good news front, the baby's average measurements put it at 36 weeks + 2 days gestational age. Exactly where I am up to today. Pretty cool.

36 weeks today

I have reached another milestone. I don't think this baby is going to come today.

It can't because I have to get through this weekend. I was asked to step up from assisting to leading the 18month-3 year olds program at church tomorrow because someone else was unexpectedly called away. Trying to decide which craft would be the simplest to do. Colouring in is looking attractive.

Next goal is 37 weeks + 2 days (Monday 31st October). I have a job interview then. And then the next goal after that is 37 weeks + 6 days, when Aidan was delivered (Friday 4th November). And if I can get that far, I will be entering unchartered territory.

I can do this. Only another couple of weeks of diabetes to go. I should start a list of all the no go foods I have now so I can get someone to bring them to me in the hospital after the baby is born.

Birth-day

Is booked for November 9th, at 38 weeks + 5 days. Four more weeks to go.

Now to see if I get there....37 + 6 is as far as I've ever made it before.

This afternoon when I took the kids to the hairdresser, I booked our next appointment for haircuts for the kids and me on the 8th November. Hope we make it.

It's all starting to feel a bit too real. Maybe I've been in some denial until now that we are actually going to have another one...

33 weeks + 6 days

This is the gestation at which Rosie was born. Today I am 33 weeks + 6 days pregnant with this one.

I am feeling very relieved this little one is not following the trend of progressively earlier arrivals that my other children have blessed me with.

One day at a time. My next goal is to make it to 36 weeks (when Liam arrived....)

Lost....one brain

That would be mine.

I turned up for Book Club tonight....one week early. I was bringing supper too. At least I hadn't baked something, just twenty minutes of running around Woolworths buying cheese, fruit and biscuits was all the effort I'd made.

Starting to lose the plot a bit, I think. So much to keep track of, so little brain space feels available to hold it all.

On the plus side, I'd only driven fifteen minutes to get there (often it's at someone's place half an hour from home). And I hadn't actually finished reading the book. I have another whole week to read it now.

So fruit, cheese and biscuits for dessert it is. After the next blood glucose level check (have just increased my insulin tonight).

Insulin, here I come

:(

The diabetes educator took one look at my little book of high numbers and told me I'd be hearing from the endocrinologist's rooms in the next few days about an appointment. My levels during the day aren't too bad but the ones first thing in the morning are the killers.

But the baby seems to be the right size (not too oversized) and blood pressure is good. So I'll try to be happy with that.

Bad news for the day

My blood sugars aren't going too well. 7.5 after breakfast this morning. Normal level is below 6.5. And my fasting sugars, that I take when I first wake up in the morning and that I can't control by altering my diet, are staying well above the normal level.

If this doesn't improve, I will be adding an endocrinologist to the list of appointments I need to go to in the next few weeks. And maybe some insulin injections as well.

I feel sad. This is probably the point at which my last pregnancy started to go pear-shaped as well, although I didn't realise at the time since I had my gestational diabetes test later in the pregnancy last time around. I wish my body could just do things the right way so I don't have to feel anxious about things going wrong again.

And I know it's not the right way to feel as a Christian, but I also feel frustrated that other women can have pregnancies that aren't complicated. I wish I could lose these bitter feelings, I know it's wrong to have them, but today I'm struggling a bit with them.

Sadly, I probably can't even go and have a coffee/morning tea with a friend to have a good cry about it. Seeing grossly oversized muffins and cakes (>2 carbohydrate serves so off the agenda for the time being) and large mugs of coffee aren't going to cheer me up.

Please pray (as I need to myself) that I can accept what's happening and not stress too much. Stressing about it won't help and it probably will make things worse.

From the mixed news front, Aidan won his grade section of the spelling bee this morning. Great to see him do such a good job of getting the words correct, but now we have to learn a whole bunch of different words for the regional final in three weeks' time. Not so excited about that part of it.