Today is my last day of maternity leave. Barring any unforeseen accidents, it's probably my last day of maternity leave ever.
I feel sad.
I'm sure I will be okay when I get to work, but right now I just don't want to go.
This is bad. I should be feeling more excited about it. But I have options. A friend is encouraging me to consider private practice. If I'm really not happy I might consider it.
Not going back at all really isn't an option. The longer I leave it, the more I would lose my confidence in being able to do the job. A new national registration scheme means we have to have "recency of practice" so if I took many years out of the workforce I would need to work under supervision. And the money helps with some of the extras we think are important, like church offerings, donating to missionary friends and music lessons for the kids.
But today I think I am going to let myself feel sad and grieve for the passing of another life stage.
Tomorrow is the start of a new adventure.