Friday, December 30, 2011

Turning 40 tomorrow...

Now that I've typed that title, I've realised I don't have much to say about that except that I wish I was looking forward to it more.

I've been feeling a bit tired, lonely and blue for the past few days. Not sure why. Maybe it's the cumulative effect of seven weeks of interrupted sleep and my advancing age (!). Rowan has been fussy with his feeds. The big boys have been fighting with each other more than usual. I think they are bored. Rosie screams a lot when she's asked to do something. The C string tuning peg on my new ukulele is loose and that string goes out of tune really quickly. We've been trying to plan for Liam's birthday party with family tomorrow and get the house and backyard tidied up. I'm feeling a bit sad that we don't get invited out much as a family anymore and worrying that it's because there's far too many of us (or alternatively, that we're not good company?). We invite people over but I find that exhausting and usually need a couple of days recovery time afterwards.

What I really would like to do is plan some fun things to do together as a family. Everything feels like it revolves around baby feeding times at the moment. I know this will pass, but the next few weeks of holidays are feeling like they will be an effort to get through...

Okay. Time to stop moaning. I think I should get out and do some exercise. I'm going out this afternoon to a fundraising afternoon tea for our friend who is off to Nepal to teach in a missionary school. And I need to practise playing Happy Birthday on the ukulele for Liam's party.

I'm hoping all that will lift my spirits a little bit.

3 comments:

Meredith said...

Thanks for saying it as it is. It won't always be like this - and one day you will look back at this post and feel the relief of having got through... and no doubt, got through well. In the meantime, it is helpful for me to be reminded of what life is like with an infant and smalls so that I can be more compassionate with those around me in similar situations. Once out of this space it is all too easy to forget just how hard it is.

Hope your spirits did lift and that tomorrow has some special and beautiful bits in it.
Mx

Caroline said...

Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

Hey you!!! Happy Birthday and I'm so glad I was there to share it with you, even if it was not what you expected!!! Sometimes you need to moan, believe me, I know!!! No-one ever invites us anywhere either, not now. Just the kids and I for New Years Eve, we'll watch a movie, having swordfish for dinner, go to bed. Part of me is sad that no-one wants to see me, the other part I'm just grateful that my kids love me and we can hang out and be happy. Aiming for a glass half full 2012. Love you, Happy New Year too! x Alana